That Sense of Home and Grey Gardens.

Greetings to all of you beautiful people. I don’t know how things have been going where you live but spring is in the air in the Rocky Mountain region. We are bound to get more snow, but I’m enjoying this while it lasts. My crocuses and tulips are rearing their heads and time will tell if the daffodils I planted are a success. I just love garden surprises.

As a general rule, I don’t usually start putting flowers in the ground until after Mother’s Day. I wait until after Memorial Day if I’m feeling really cautious. Overall, the general feeling has been “SPRING…I can see you.” I just LOVE spring. I was born in April. I am one of those lucky souls that gets to celebrate my birthday on Easter about every seven to fourteen years. I also have tickets to the tulip festival and that’s a bonus.

My sister’s birthday is four days before mine and every year we commemorate this with the celebratory carrot cake. So we’ve had this conversation…It’s a good thing we don’t have a sister that won’t eat nuts, coconut, chunks of pineapple, raisins, or shredded carrot. Otherwise, this just wouldn’t work out.

If you’ve been following, I’m also taking my daughter to the tulip festival. She had a surgical consult on Friday, and now we are just waiting for her boss to revise here schedule so she can have the time to recover from surgery. Her surgeon said her tumor looks the same and has not grown, but this needs to be scheduled within the next few weeks.

So here we are…in limbo. Again. All of this has felt really heavy but there have been a few things happening that have boosted my spirits.

1.  I took a trip to the country with my sister to visit family.
2. My son had a lacrosse game at our old stomping grounds. We walked by our old house, went to our old park, shopped the old market, and went to our favorite eats.
3. My son’s team had their first victory out on the field. He’s absolutely hooked on lacrosse now and it was a real confidence booster.
4. I started a quilting project with my mother. I am sewing my first quilt for our sheep camp which you can see here
5. My brother gave me his world famous white chilli recipe.
6. I am taking a trip with my husband to Colorado this weekend, which entails a trek through Wyoming. I LOVE both. I think I’ve got him talked into taking a day trip to the hippie capital of the West, Boulder, Colorado.
7. I’ve rarely watched the news which has been SO good for me at this juncture, but I’d be living in a bubble if I was not aware of what took place in New Zealand or DT’s ensuing tweets. Sigh…was that ever a HEAVY “small” dose of news! I’m not focusing on him. I’m trying to find that healthy balance between awareness and not obsessing over current events while retaining my humanity.

DEEP EXHALE

HEAVY STUFF

We’re all feeling it

So the lay of the land here is that I plan on blogging the tulip festival, my trip to Colorado and Wyoming, and how the quilt project is going for anyone who may be interested. A certain Edward Abbey quote caught my attention the other day, and it seemed so relevant to share in these times:

“One final paragraph of advice: Do not burn yourselves out, be as I am-a reluctant enthusiast, a part-time crusader, a half-hearted fanatic. Save the other half of yourselves and your lives for pleasure and adventure. It is not enough to fight for the land: It is even more important to enjoy it. While you can. While it’s still here. So get out there and hunt and fish and mess around with your friends, ramble out yonder and explore the forests, climb mountains, bag the peaks, run the rivers, breathe deep of that yet sweet and lucid air, sit quietly for a moment and contemplate the precious stillness, the lovely, mysterious and awesome space. Enjoy yourself.”

-Edward Abbey

Exploring those Peaks in Kauia

So about this journey to my old stomping grounds…I forgot how much I really missed my old home. When I married my husband five years ago we moved to his home in Riverton and it has not felt the same. My children and I were all supper giddy to be back in our old town. I felt like a load of bricks had just flown off my shoulders. Even my children made comments about how everything just felt so much lighter. My son even attributed his lacrosse victory to being back “home.” He made a cute comment about the field saying, “WELCOME HOME TRISTAN.” I think it did speak to him, but who am I? I sometimes talk to my plants.

I don’t know what all this means, but I had to take a mental note of it. The shift in energy for all of us was very telling. Mostly, I’ve missed being so close to the mountains. I lived on the bench of Mount Timpanogos near the mouth of Provo, Canyon (before the ascent to Sundance). I thought, “This is so beautiful!” I remember having this same thought nearly every day. Even after looking at the same views day after day, a cathartic moment would just catch me by surprise and I’d think to myself..”How lucky am I to be here? Of all the places?” These mountains are surreal, but they are ABSOLUTELY real.” Sometimes…they just take my breath away.

OKAY. ACKNOWLEDGED. I MISS MY HOME.

Also Acknowledged: My new home has felt bristly. I’ve tried so hard to make this my home. The silver lining, my plants are starting to perk up finally. My daughter has a best friend here. My son is playing lacrosse. Is everything as it should be? Possibly…that’s a thought I’ll put aside for another day, but it is important.

Home, is also with your roots. My sister and I had  a few great talks on our road trip. We both felt a little anxious after leaving our mother’s home for our own. It was that feeling of “going back to the noise.” Part of that vibe was coming back from the country to the city. We did feel re-charged stepping off for a moment and re-energized with some family time. I felt a little isolated from my husband after I came home. He knows I get homesick. I don’t have to say a word.

My mother is an artist and her home is FULL of artful things. We also watched an “artsy” film called Grey Gardens. Is is my mother who gave me a taste for off the grid movies. She also taught me to look at the world with her artful eye. I loved the film. Drew Barrymore and Jessica Lange were excellent. It was an eye opening view into the life of hoarders and  “Cat Ladies” and how it can all come about.

As introverted as I can get, I always thought that I was far removed from the “Cat Lady” persona, homelessness etc. but really this film made me contemplate how easy it is to do. Perhaps that was the film’s purpose. A wrong turn, some bad choices, some missed opportunities, the inability to let go of something, hanging onto something too tight, untreated depression, unrealized dreams, or too many hard knocks.

It was a very insightful film, and the appearance of Jacquline Kennedy Onassis’s character into the story was touching. I recommend this film to anybody, but like Edie in the film, the film may be an “acquired taste.” Apparently this film and documentary have quite the cult following. I’ve always been a fan of cult classics. Sadly, the film reminded me of two women that I know and I’ve found myself having a soft spot for them. The film fulfilled its purpose.

Also, while I was at my mother’s house I walked around and snapped a few photos. I wanted to document some of her “artful decor.” I don’t know what it is about spending time in the home of an artist but it’s good medicine for the soul. It seemed everything around me was of my mother’s making, an expression of who she is, and a representation of her view of the world in an abstract way.

My mother gave me some of her art prints. She rarely sells her art, which is fortunate for everyone else, because she does this so freely. In an alternate universe she shares her talent lucratively, but this is not the universe she is living in.  So, I leave you with these because I feel like perhaps her artistic expression needed to be shared on the blog today. Enjoy the Spring and the art friends! I’ll be posting more after returning from Wyoming, you know how much I LOVE Wyoming. My other home. My sweet Wyoming home. I’ll totally be singing that tune when I feel it humming in my heart.